I.N.D.I.A.

It's been said the name India is an acronym for "I'll Never Do It Again." Taking no official notice of that whatsoever, we're off for our second trip to the "land of a thousand blights" (this may be an unofficial motto) on Tuesday.

The highlight of our sophomore effort we expect to be Jaipur, by Indian standards a "bedroom community" of a mere 3.1 million souls.*  Here is how wikipedia describes Jaipur (I have inserted editorial parentheticals, where I expect them to be helpful to my valued readers):

Jaipur (Rajasthani: जैपर Hindi: जयपुर) [ˈdʒəjpʊɾ] ( listen), also popularly known as the Pink City, is the capital and largest city of the Indian state of Rajasthan. Founded on 18 November 1727 by Maharaja Sawai Jai Singh II, the ruler of Amber, the city today has a population of more than 3.1 million.

Jaipur is one of the finest planned cities of India (i.e. only semi-apocalyptic looking), located in the semi-desert lands of Rajasthan. The city which once had been the capital of the royalty now is the capital city of Rajasthan (i.e. the tyrants are now pettier and more plentiful). The very structure of Jaipur resembles the taste of the Rajputs and the Royal families. At present, Jaipur is a major business centre with all requisites of a metropolitan city (i.e. insufficient sanitation, free-roaming livestock, abject poverty; that is to say, a step up from Detroit).

In any event, it should be a great time.  We plan to visit the following spots in Jaipur:

   

Five quarters wrap around the east, south, and west sides of a central palace quarter, with a sixth quarter immediately to the east. The Palace quarter encloses a sprawling palace complex, (Hawa Mahal), formal gardens, and a small lake. Nahargarh Fort, which was the residence of the King Sawai Jai Singh II, crowns the hill in the northwest corner of the old city. The observatory, Jantar Mantar, is one of the World Heritage Sites.^[1] Jaipur is a popular tourist destination in Rajasthan and India.

And of course, we will get to spend time with our good friends, A and D (A prefers their names to be kept off the interwebs, although he does maintain a Facebook page for his cat**).  We've been asked to deliver special cat food and a finger splint. 

In no time I'll be slouched into a coach seat, watching one of the offered movies inevitably starring Jake Gyllenhaal or Adam Sandler, drooling on myself from the effects of the Ambien and the airline wine, but still somehow unable to sleep.  

Flight Attendant: "Sir, the look on your face is upsetting some of the other passengers."
Me: "What does it look like?'
FA: "Think of an angry old man."
Me: "Ok."
FA: "But with much wilder eyes and... a terrible cold."
Me: "I see."
FA: "There are literally rumors starting that you are putting curses on some of the infants on our flight."
Me: "Do you think that kind of thing is possible?"
FA: "I don't know, sir, but I can assure you that it's against the airline's policies."

Ahhh, vacation. 


*The use of "souls" is pejorative, your author not believing in any duality whatsoever, whether of mind or spirit.
**Shockingly, he is one of two male friends of mine who do this.