Hemingway kicks a can.
This article in the NYT got me thinking quite a bit today. In summary, a recent large-scale poll indicates that from age 18 until age 50, most peoples' happiness is in decline; but, starting at 50 it begins increasing again. My completely lay and armchair analysis tells me that the poll's methodology was decent.
I urge you to read it. If you do, I'd be curious to know whether you 1) think its conclusion is good news or bad and 2) what your immediate thoughts are regarding how it should affect the way you live your life.
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5 comments:
The article is interesting. I can only posit explanations from my own life. I'm happier at 53 than I was at 25, 35 or 45. Prior to age 50 I was trying to fill so many roles at once (wife, Mom,friend, daughter, sister, valuable employee, community contributor), and doing none of them as well as I wanted, and was all too concerned about what other people thought of me. Since I turned 50, work dropped off the list, and Mom was relegated to no longer a daily role. I have more time for the other roles, and spend less time worrying about what other people think, while still trying to be a good family member, friend and community member. What advice would I give others earlier in this timeline than I? Accept that if you have so many roles, you won't do any of them as well as you'd like and don't worry about it, just do the best you can. And quit worrying about what other people think so much. I wouldn't omit any of those roles for anything. Polonius had it right when he said "To thine own self be true." xo
I didnt read the article, but I can tell you that I am happier at 35 than I have been at any other time in my life yet. These days, I am the most tired, I feel the most simple, the least artistic, the least showered, and the least paid. Which none of that matters because I have a solid family & community. I am the most content, the most fulfilled, with the most purpose...the happiest I have ever been yet. Still unshowered and under paid a bit more than I would like. xo
I think the survey is correct, but may be misinterpreted.
The years between 18 and 50 are the years when relationships are forged, broken, new relationships found, and careers succeed or fail, or both, where goals are established, but not quite met. This the time when some choose to have children, which produces huge emotional swings. Are these times happy? Perhaps not entirely or always, but they surely allow growth, and ultimately the achievement of some version of wisdom, and emotional attachments that sustain you in your later years.
You could think of it in terms of a travel analogy. A few years ago we spent 3 weeks on Maui; it was certainly a happy time. A few years later we spent 3 weeks in Tanzania. It was much more stressful, but in many ways much more satisfying. If you asked me which trip made me happier, I’d say Hawaii; if you asked me which trip left me with greater satisfaction, my answer would be different.
The years after 50 are easier than those between 18-50. Does that make them better?
Man, I love all the reader participation lately. I love reading all of your comments and, trust me, I read them each closely. Keep it up, dear readers, keep it up.
Many people comment that they would never go back & replay past years. I can only think of a few years that I would not like to relive, or if I had to relive I would do them differently. I think the 30-50 years gave me a sense of purpose with the stress level and enjoyment level both at a peak and balancing each other to equal a sense of happiness. Life in the late fifties through today, although free of commitment, still provides a degree of stress from time to time, and requires a redefinition of goals and self-awareness. In other words, the questions of what, when, where, who, why aren't answered as clearly for you.
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